The Coffee Shop

Nothing like a refreshing drink of iced tea after a hard afternoon of knitting.

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One Thing Leads to Another

Yesterday T and J decided to “go get some fresh air” first thing in the morning. They said they would bike down to the school and back, and then come inside. I finished up the dishes, went through a pile of bills, and then wondered where they were. I looked out the window, and saw them playing in the back yard. J was “cooking” in her “restaurant” and T was busily whittling sticks. I later found out that he whittles them into utensil shapes and then barters with them for “food”. I watched them for a while, thought about calling them in to start on all of the exciting projects and science experiments that we had planned on doing, but they were so busy, so happy, so productive, and so engaged in what they were doing that I let them be.

As usual, I had some misgivings about letting them play instead of doing something “school” related, because they have all afternoon set aside for playing, and mornings are meant for them to take advantage of my help with school sorts of things.

They ended up playing for most of the morning, but when J came in, she told me that she wished she could be a restaurant owner, or a chef. She said that she wanted to learn how to cook. Fine by me, I said. You can help me make dinner tonight. Not immediate enough for her, and she had a moment of frustration until she suddenly ran off and then came back with one of the cookbooks I had taken out of the library a few weeks ago. She spent until lunch reading recipes, making ingredient lists, and planning menus.

My first reaction was a sigh of fatigue as I imagined the whole process of shopping for whatever esoteric ingredients she needed and the inefficient cooking with a 7-year old, but it was only seconds before I realized yet again, for the millionth time this year, that this, of course, is what I wanted to have happen in homeschooling. I wanted them to have ideas, to be excited, and to get involved in their own projects. Too bad if it put a crimp in my plans and wasn’t on my list. Who cares if it’s not an efficient use of time, whatever that even means anyway.

The two points that I learned (again!) were that:

1. Free play IS important even if it looks unproductive.
2. It doesn’t matter what the content of the project is, it’s the process that counts.

By point #2 I mean that little Miss J will benefit enormously from completing a task that she initiates. She will learn that she can come up with an idea, think of ways to make it happen, and then actually follow through. So it doesn’t matter if it’s cooking a whole new recipe, or building a bookshelf, or sewing a vest for a stuffed animal. It doesn’t even have to be a skill that is useful in any way. It’s the empowerment that she’ll derive from the process that she’ll internalize and apply to everything she does later in her life. That’s what she’s learning.

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Freedom

Homeschooling has meant freedom for my kids. I thought about this while watching T and his similarly aged friend aimlessly throwing sticks into the river today. The two of them spend their afternoons riding bikes, whittling sticks, digging in dirt, reading comics, listening to music, and exploring the wild spaces of our local parks. Homeschooling at this age is an opening up of possibilites, and every day can be an adventure totally within the kids’ control. The little bubble of time between toddlerhood and teenagehood is so small, is so precious, and is such a time of personal growth. It’s been nice to allow these guys the space in which to follow their own imagination.

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Stick = Gun

Back to the old nature vs nurture chestnut. Four kids and fourteen years of parenting have me firmly on the nature, nature, nature side of the fence. Dey is what dey is. Born who they are.

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