At my birthday party, when we’d had a bit to drink and finished off the dips and pupusas and bread and cake and were sitting around the kitchen table painting on the canvases that S brought over, I asked everyone if they could share what they thought was important to a woman turning 40. I knew that I was surrounded by caring, thoughtful and intelligent women, and I was eager to hear their answers.
Here’s what they said:
- live your truth
- buy yourself the things you want; no-one else will do it for you
- don’t waste your time worrying about what others think
- there’s no need to put up with bad sex; stop in the middle if it’s not going well, but do not just lie there going over the grocery list in your head
- if you’re with a man and the relationship isn’t going well, more sex always helps
- don’t give up on having sex as you get older (from my friend who is turning 60)
- meditate every morning
- figure out what you want to do, and do it; no one will ever thank you for sacrificing your dreams
- become more entitled
- own your own life
There’s a bit of a theme there. Figure out what’s important to you, own it, and go for it. Look after others, yes, but also look after yourself, and don’t waste time feeling guilty about it.
You’ve only got the one life to live, and it’s already half over. Make the most of it.
Easy to say, my friends, but sometimes hard to do.
Anyone out there have any advice for me?
well, i think you have very wise friends. point 1 pretty much sums it up for me ‘live your truth’ , oh and as sex is featuring quite well in your wonderful birthday list, i’d add if you are going to have a relationship with a man, find one who is into pleasing women as much as pleasing themselves!’ Glad you had such a productive party! and nie to see you! You’re a hot dang fabulous 40!
So, I’m sitting at the computer looking at your photos . . . curious to put a face to the words and my three-year-old climbs on my lap.
“Is that you, mommy?” she inquires.
I reply, “No, does it look like me?”
“Yes.” my little one says, followed by, “You’ll have to meet them when we go back to Calgary. I think they’d like to play with you.”
My first thought is, what a flattering comment as you are a very beautiful woman.
My second is, how incredibly perceptive my little girl is.
Looks like a group in which I could truly feel at home.
Thanks both of you, for your compliments. It’s always nice to hear kind words like that….and Kel, yes, I’d have to agree with you on your point…funny how many bits of advice featured sex. I guess we’re all just getting older and freer.
I have an inkling that your daughter was right S. I bet that you would fit right in….one of the women is a writer, three are social justice activists, one ran for the local Green Party last election, one of them drives down to Mexico with her four children(and husband) for 2 months every winter. All interesting women with lots to say.